people are great

I just wanted to write to say thanks to all the people who have expressed their sympathies over Bailey. We absolutely have to say we are shocked and incredibly emotional at the outpouring of emotion his passing seems to have created -- it's as if a family member has passed away which, for us, is absolutely what has happened. Weepy phone messages, long sad emails, teary hugs from everyone, letters from everyone who ever met Bailey it seems have been coming in whether they met him only once or saw him everyday. It's truly heartwarming and although I haven't been able to get through all of them without crying, it really does help us to remember him even more fondly.

It's amazing to us how big a niche Bailey seemed to carve in people's hearts over such a short period of time. He was just that kind of dog -- like a communal dog or something. My parents, who watched him during the day while we were at work, are as devastated as if it was their own dog that passed.

For us, although we know full well there is a light at the end of the tunnel, we do seem to be fighting the urge to be sad forever. As our friend Rob said last night, when it's a pet, the mourning burns bright. The tears seem to always be right there and the lump in your stomach may loosen for a moment, but it's never far away from tightening up again. I'm finding I'm actually having physical reactions to the grief -- what's up with that???

Marc and I are both finding it hardest just to be at home. Last night I crashed his band rehearsal just because I couldn't be at home alone just yet. While you miss them in a huge way period, it really is the little things that make it the hardest. How many times did you pet them on your way to the kitchen for a drink? I know I used to sing stupid songs to him while I was filling his food dish or folding the laundry or making my toast. The way he took the stairs one at a time like a toddler, begging to go outside only to roll in the snow and come right back in, drinking from his water bowl in the kitchen from around the corner in the dining room, how he ruined our living room carpet from all his post-dinner-mouth-wiping rolls -- all those silly little things you never thought twice about while they were happening are now glaring absences. My cousin Kaili, who recently lost her sweet cat Madison, were laughing today about having to type in passwords that are their names and losing it. What's up with that?? His giant personality filled up our big old house and his passing has created a very strange vibe to the house that we are having a hard time getting used to. We had multiple dogs growing up and even though I've put down 2 other pets in the past, this is the first time I've done it without having another dog around to cushion the blow. Man, does that make a difference. I can't even tell you how big a difference.

Thank you so much to all our friends, family and even fellow bloggers who have taken the time to express fond memories of Bailey and to send their e-hugs, real hugs and so so many lovely notes. It's really, really wonderful to see. Our friend and fellow blogger Dennis posted his own lovely tribute to Bailey and you can find it here. Included are some of his own photos including Bailey at our office and everyone's favourite shot of Bailey in his surgical cone.

Now comes the inevitable conversation of when to get another dog. Me, I'm such a dog lover and have so much love to give, I could easily have another dog today. The more the merrier I say. Also the issue of whether to get another pound puppy or another Golden Retriever. Even before we got Bailey we were discussing getting a specific breed of puppy from a breeder and the Golden never was one we looked at. We always thought it was that dog, the one everyone has and is the star of every movie and just so cookie cutter. Well, after having Bailey we realize that the reason they're so popular is because they are all like Bailey. No other breed can really guarantee you that specific personality and temperment. Part of me wants to stick with the breed we know is perfectly suited to our lifestyle. It's a hard call and I'm not sure what side we'll land on. In a perfect world, I'd have 2 dogs. Now I just to work on Marc for that to happen.