Dear celebrity diary...

My name's Britney Spears y'all. Earlier this week the court took my kids away. I was so busted up about it, after it happened I went and got a tan, did some shopping and then checked myself into the Beverly Hills Hotel. Basically, the judge wanted me to do some stuff but I was so busy buying tanktops and showing off my goods that I just never got around to it. I figured he meant business so after court I finally went and got my driver's license. Who knew it would only take a day? After all, he asked me to get in back in April but the DMV is always busy y'all. I just assumed I'd be waiting around for like.....a long time y'all. Y'all. Y'all. Anyway, I should probably go now. I feel like it's been at least 17 minutes so I've shown anyone my ladybits and I do have this new fedora that I think I'd like to show off at the Target down the street.